Dear Lady Eros,
My boyfriend recently asked if he could lick and kiss my feet while we were having sex. I didn?t know what to say--it?s the first time anyone ever suggested anything like that. I?m really crazy about him, but this foot thing is weird. Isn?t this what they call a fetish? If I agree to it will it get even more weird?? What should I tell him?
From,
"Wet Feet"
Dear Ms. Feet:
A fetish can be anything from liking lacy underwear to desiring heavy S&M. If they called it a strong preference, would you feel better? Because that's what it really is. Whether it's YOUR preference or not is another story. Your boyfriend was brave enough to raise this issue (and it took a healthy dose of courage for him to do it), so try and be brave enough to explore the subject with him.
No one knows why some people get turned on by feet. They just do. That said, you and your lover should talk about what exactly he likes and wants. Many foot fans are into footwear, for example, and love seeing a woman walk around in stiletto heels and black seamed stockings. If this happens to be your boyfriend's cup of tea, how would you feel about doing this for him? Some couples even use the shoe-buying and shopping-for-nylons excursions as foreplay to their lovemaking.
For other men (and women), it's the smell of feet--particularly dirty feet--that excites them. Body odors in general are a category of sexual turn-ons. Maybe you're familiar with the Saturday Night Live character who likes to stick her fingers under her armpits and then sniff at them. Oh, gross1x I hear you saying. Nevertheless, a famous love letter from Napoleon to Josephine says: "Arriving Paris Saturday night. Don't bathe."
Some guys like to see their partners DO things with their feet. From popping a balloon between your soles to using your tootsies like hands on a certain part of his anatomy, these are all activities a foot enthusiast might enjoy.
You indicated that your boyfriend wanted to lick and kiss your feet. If touching your peds is his thing, how would you feel about a loving foot bath and foot massage administered by your fellow? This might seem less weird to you than the full-blown foot worship he first suggested. Be forewarned, though. If licking and kissing are really what he desires, he'll want to work up to that eventually.
You say that you're crazy about this fellow. So get past the giggles, and give some serious thought to this subject. There are specialized magazines and movies for foot enthusiasts. Ask your boyfriend to show you his favorites (believe me, he already has these materials)--if you feel you can handle it. Remember: we're not talking about a one-shot deal. Would you be happy to include this type of thing in a lifetime of lovemaking?
Some early sexologist quipped that the most unhappy man was the foot fetishist--who, while desiring only his partner's feet, was forced to make love to the whole of her. People who are into feet are the same kind of lovers as all other human beings. Some are good, some are bad. If your boyfriend is a selfish partner who only wants to get his jollies with your lower extremities--while ignoring YOUR needs and pleasures--then I don't see a future for this relationship. On the other hand, if you're both loving and giving participants, this may heighten your mutual experience.
Talk. Then try it. You might like it.
Lady Eros
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